How to shop-- for the Apocolypse.

Did anyone else follow Apocalypse Week on the History Channel? All week there have been documentary specials on the end of the world... The Seven Deadly Sins mini-series was pretty good. It's awesome that "pride", arrogance and vanity aren't the worst as far as fire and brimstone are concerned.

But the best part of Apocalypse Week were the astronomers and such claiming that the world will go into another Ice Age, killing mankind, around Dec. 21st, 2012. The poles are going to shift (causing rising sea levels, storms, mess with the magnetic pull and satellite waves), the climate will change leading to drought, and some think that our entire civilization structure will collapse... leading us into mass world-wide wars.

Some experts are suggesting that people stock up on canned goods, water, weaponry, and bars of gold for trade. I have a different set of priorities: let's make sure that we're dressed for the worst.

First and foremost, astronomers are predicting that the sun will be resetting our entire galaxy within the center of the milky way. If the sun's rays become any stronger, we will need eye protection. I think Tom Ford's Hawkings sunglasses are large enough to protect the eyes, but they still look hot. Also, the aviator style is easier to wear for hours at a time since they are lighter. Ah, the Louis Vuitton Keepall 55. When our modern society collapses, humankind will probably go back to living in nomadic tribes while we search for food. So this LV Keepall, in theory, is perfect for carrying your belongings. It's lightweight and the coated canvas is practically indestructible. Not to mention, as a desirable item... you might be able to trade it for a cow or something later on. Jewelry's fun to wear now... and in all of human history, humans have been able to barter with shiny objects. While some survivalists are buying up gold bars and silver coins in case of economic collapse, I'm a fan of precious metal jewelry because you can wear it and trade it (hey, it's still gold or silver). I picked out Dior's bee earrings. Some astronomers think that an astroid may strike the earth, killing us all like the dinosaurs. Well, to quote Real Housewives of Atlanta castmate and general train wreck, Kim Zolciak, "I could die tomorrow. But I'll die wearing Dior."

And well, a girl's gotta have hot shoes... even during the downfall of mankind. The Christian Louboutin Mad Mary pumps are so perfect for a post-Apocalyptic world. Bonus points given, because I'm pretty sure these shoes can be used as a weapon as well.

Caroline Amarrato's leather opera gloves are another necessary item on my list. Their long enough to keep the entire arm warm... and the leather should make it easy to still grip for things during the nomadic life. It will also protect your hands and arms from scratches and cuts... or even worse, parasitic bites that may spread plague-like diseases.

Ahhh, the American Apparel "all up in one" dress. If you can only have one dress to wear every day of your life (presumably not too long of a life span), you might as wear a dress that can be tied 20+ different ways. Halter, tube, strappy, off the shoulder... tie it different ways to even out your tan lines! This will be the only piece you need clothing wise for the warmer months.

But for the colder months, there's really no substitute:

The History Channel better be right about this 2012 speculation. Otherwise, I will heavily disappointed in them, because when you think History... you think facts. And history.

But it's one HELL of an excuse to stalk Louboutin Mad Mary pumps on eBay!