Day 6 of Fatgate.

I couldn't bring myself to blog initially about Jessica Simpson's stage wear at the infamous chili cook-off. Because while I could joke among friends about the horrible jeans, double wide (pun intended) cheetah print belt, and tank top causing unflattering rolls... I just didn't want to be the 1,000,000th blogger asking what the hell Jessica Simpson/her stylist/her creepy dadanger/random Yes Man, Ken Paves, was thinking letting her go out in public like that.

But... I have to ask, and pardon my French but: What the fuck is this?!


Can we take her accessory license away? I don't think this poor girl should be within 20 feet of a belt. The proportion of the blazer is emphasizing her long torso and her shorter legs, and as if that wasn't sad enough... she's wearing the most unflattering leggings barefoot. No shoes. And they are the kind of leggings that ANY woman would need a 4" heel to pull off the look... your leg muscles need to be perfectly flexed for something that creates highlight and shadow!

Fashion is subjective, but I have a pretty good rule of thumb for the fine line between edgy and unpredictable and just plain tragic: What Would Britney Do?

If Britney Spears would look at your outfit and go, "Heeeey, I like y'alls outfit. I don't like to wear shoes either if my leggings don't match my dirty white platform flip flops y'all!" then you go back into your closet and you change. Rinse and repeat. It's worked pretty well so far...