Happy Birthday, America.

Okay, America... so I'm wishing you a happy birthday thirty minutes early. I'm only doing so because Ball And Chain is ready for bed.

"So what is with all these bands shopping in Saint Louis?" asked Valentine. Today, Phil Lesh's band (the "...and Friends" of Phil Lesh and Friends) came in to shop. Super fun. I love working with musicians wanting stage clothes, because they are usually very creative and into fashion. Here in Saint Louis, we'll have awesome stuff in store but all everyone wants to buy are the trends from two years ago.

Midwestern men also aren't very much fun. They all want baggy jeans and baggy tee shirts and a guy that's a soaking wet 160 lbs swears he wears a 34 waist and a size L tee shirt. No, honey. You grew up with a neurotic mother that always bought your clothes too big just in case you would "grow out of it." You are finished growing now. Now if you outgrow your clothes, it's because you are becoming a fat ass.

And no, straight leg jeans do not make your feet look big. (I hear this from men at least three times a day. Big feet is not a negative quality... what woman is like, "Oooh... I like a man with baby feet. The kind I can crochet booties for. Mmmm." I, in theory, would have no problems sharing clothes with my man. I would have a serious problem sharing shoes.

Random!

By the way, I'm disappointed that Mary Mack didn't make the finals on Last Comic Standing. Right now, I'm rooting for Jim Tavare. I was absolutely cracking up... his writing is brilliant and his timing is flawless. I like Esther Ku, but I think there are better ethnic comics and better "hot chick" comics. She isn't a trail blazer for either.

After watching Last Comic, we turned on IFC and attempted to watch The Confederate States of America. It's a mocumentary of America, post-Civil War under the assumption that the South won. While it has it's moments, it just wasn't funny or biting. It actually was pretty boring.

Off to get ready for bed. For America.